She will be loved
by I Am Karma
Summary: Nessie doesn't know about imprinting all that she knows is that she loves jacob. Until one day edward finds out about the relation ships change and decides to take action before it can go further. Can she continue to love Jacob the way she did? ON HOLD
1. Prologue

She will be loved Prologue:

It was days like this I appreciated sunlight. I loved mine and jakes long walks along the first beach in La Push. I was thinking immensly of the upcomming events, The ones to look forward to and the ones to repell. I couldnt believe my dad had been so selfish to split me and Jacob apart. It was only after 2 days of begging that i convinced him to give me and Jacob 2 more days.

It was the day, me and Jacob had our first kiss, And what a kiss it was. When we'd got home, id tried as hard as i could to conceal my thaughts from my dad, but anything else iw ould think of would only lead back to me and jacob. I was sitting in my room, thinking about the song i was listening to - Maroon 5 She will be loved - And all i could think of was me and jacob, imagining we were in that situation, and it would be the kind of thing he would say. And that was the end of us. Dad came storming into my roon, nearly taking the door off its hinges.

"RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN! How DARE You do something like that Withought my concent!!!" If looks could kill. I couldnt help but snigger, Something id picked up off jacob, turning serious talks into funny things.

"That is not even remotly funny, Renesmee. Thats it. You and Jacob are over. You have tomorrow to say goodbye and then were going." He orderd turning his back to me, " Bella, call Carlisle, tell him were moving, Ill book the plane." I scowled at him as he exited. I immedietly grabbed my phone and texted jacob as quick as i could. That day, we spent with eachother saying goodbye to Billy, Emily and the packs.

Today being the last day i would see him, was purely just me, him and the sea.

"Nes, i have something for you, i just dont want you to forget me when you go," He said sorrowfully, while taking me in his huge arms. I pulled my face to his to kiss him, to savor the moment, With my hands being hooked onto his cheeks, i decided to project him thaughts of all the time we spent together and telling him that this could never be forgotten. I could feel both his and my tears streaming down us and soaking into my hair and his grey T-shirt.

He reluctently pulled back to stare into my eyes. I stared into his too, seeing deep into his wonderful, loving and caring soul. "Ness i know your not actually legal and all.. and you know... you dont have to.... and... and... i dont mind what you say...and..." He kept waffling on so i decided to turn my face into his palm and tenderly kiss it, hoping to clear his mind

"Jake, spit it out," I chuckled while kissing his palm. Suddenly, he drew it back, falling down onto one knee, Staring at me again.

"Ness, will you marry me?" He said with the oddest but serious look on his face. My mind was running through a thousand and one things to say. Scared of what will happen with me and my family if i said yes, the pain i would cause jacob if i said no. So i came up with the most logical thing i could think of.

"yes, but will you wait?" I asked, afraid of his answer. I waited for what felt like minutes for an answer, when rejection started playing in my mind. I started to pull my hand away, when he pulled my hand back to him and hugging my legs to him tightly, "Of course," He promised, and with that i dropped to his level and kissed him everywhere my lips could reach.


	2. Proposal Denied

I pulled away, But were leaving. How are we going to do this? I asked as he kissed my collerbone.

Oh, I didn't think of that Jake muttered.

We tomorrow I think you should tell daddy or maby me, he wont hurt me I smiled.

Yeah - Jake smiled halfheartedly- but he might you know his temper.

Maby we should tell Mum first. And have uncle Jazz around. I giggled at the thought of having mum know first

Yeah, is your dad home? Maby if we tell them now you could stay

Yeah. Lets go now dad went with Alice to Port Angeles to do some shopping

We both ran a fast as we could back to the big white house on the river. And I had to make it a compitition. Obviously I won.

Mum? Are you here? I asked as Jacob and I were walking through the door, knowing she would hear me.

Hey guys! How are you? Mum was actually alright about our relationship.  
Hi mum. Do you have to ask? I mumbled Um Bells we have something to tell you, Jake announced What happened? She asked, in a bit of a sarcastic voice.  
Sit down mum I said nerviously. I couldnt help but feel the confusion of why she hadn't guessed already along with the anger of daddy tearing us apart and that overjoyness that i belonged to Jake. Jasper gave me a very confused look.  
O kay? I giggled she was always the funny one.  
Ok Bells, I realize that i should of really asked you and or edward first, but i was hoping to get Nessies opinion first, Cause you know id just go ahead and do it anyway he added on with a big cheesy grin lingering on his face. I was suprised when i looked at my mom, she was smiling and i swear i heard the click when she figured it out. She looked at my hand. Instantly her face fell. "Wheres the ring?" She asked, almost as if she was scared.  
Jake started fumbling around in his pokets and patting them intensly "Ah, here," he mumbled and he swiftly removed the ring ang held it out to me. It was so beautiful! It had a small amethyst gem in the middle surrounded by diamonds. Oh wait till you re dad finds out. He is going to be so mad. Maybe we should have Jasper here when you guys tell him. I smiled she didn t even care. Hell she even had the same thought as me!

***2 hours Later***

Me and Jake were in the middle of discussing dates to get married when daddy stormed through the door and grabbed jake by the collar. I didn't even hear the car pull up. Well, until now. Obviously he had heard mine and Jake's mind before he saw us and decided to run.

"You proposed to my daughter! And worse, Without our knowing!" He was fuming and if he was human, he would either be purple or be lying on the ground, having a heart attack. I was so scared for Jake, this had got to be killing him, me leaving, and not only now, being denied permission to marry me. He was staring just as agressivly to my father as he was to Jacob. My mother reacted after a few seconds and pulled Dad away from Jake, and as soon as she did, i ran to his side and started crying.

He started rubbing circles on my back and shushing me. But instead i just listend to his steady heart beat, and it supprisingly calmed me down.

"Alright we leave tomorrow. 9 am. You can say goodbye then. Now, Jacob. Get out the house." And with that daddy stormed out the room with mom on his tail with an apologetic look on her face. 


	3. Runaway Wolf

**JPOV**

The loud, fog horn sound rang out from my alarm, usually even that would have been hard to wake me, but not today, i'd hardly even slept last night. How could i sleep, when my Nessie wasn't going to be here after 9 o'clock?!

I Rolled out of my sturdy bed, scanning the floor to try and find a clean pair of sweats. Well, a Cleaner pair anyway. I found some and put them on, i didn't bother showering, that wasn't a priority right now, the proitory IS seeing my babygirl, MY Nessie. I can't believe that, that lowlife bloodsucker would accually stoop this low, take her away from me, after i'd waited so long for her... Ha, actually i could believe it. He had a nack for getting the things i wanted and taking them away from me. But i couldn't worry about the past now, or even the future, that was not important to me. Not one bit. What was important was me getting as much time with my darling as i could most possibly squeeze out.

I rushed out of the house, as quick as possible, not even murmuring a goodbye to Billy, Who was sitting in his wheelchair in the kitchen. I just got out into the front yard and ran as fast as i possibly could in human form to that big white house. As soon as i could see the household in view i could hear Nessie's sobs. My heart broke in two right there. How could they do this to not only her but me too.. They knew what imprinting meant when it came to the pack, They knew how it worked, and yet they where still doing this to us, its almost like they WANTED to hurt me and Ness. My blood boiled as i ran, and it took everything in my power not to phase right there and then.

I approached the house, Running straight into Nessie's arms, Kissing her forehead and stroking her long curly hair. We stayed silent for a short moment, untill she breathed out "Jake" and squeezed me extra tight as she whispered it, the embrace was breath taking itself, but i wasn't going to complain, Not like all the other times i'd jokingly complain to her. I Needed to remember this. Remember this feeling.

"Renesmee are your things in the.." Bella started to say as she almost floated out onto the porch. She stopped as she looked at us, as if almost suprised at the scene taking place. Her expression changed from guilt to sadness in less than an instant,it looked as if she too, would be crying aloud if she could. "Jacob!! I am So Sorry!" she cried, flying inhumanly a us to join the embrace of me and Nessie. I could not hold this in any longer, i was not strong enough. I joined Bella and Nessie and began to shed tears, though, unlike them i hid this, i didn't want to show Nessie anymore pain than she had already been given today.  
We stood for all of 10 minutes i believe,at minimum, sobbing together and sniffing. I could feel the stiffness of Bella now, like she was going to stay this way set in stone, and i started to feel uncomfortable. I just wanted to talk to her daughter alone for a few minutes, and altough Bella was my best friend, i wish she understood that i needed this precious time alone with Renesmee, because i didn't know if or when i would see her again, and that was too much to bear, i wanted this memory to be of us, just us, and as nasty as it was, not the three of us. I had enough memories of Bella to last me a life time anyway. I'm guessing that Bella must have felt this sudden tension, as she suddenly losened her grip on Nessie and me, and looked at us both, she then let go of us. "I'm uh.. going to get the rest of our things..You better make it quick Nes, Your father will be back soon." she sighed shuffling away, sniffing and wiping away the non-exsistant tears out of habit.

I pulled Nessie out at arms length, yet still kept hold of her. "Your father isn't here?" i asked casually raising an eyebrow. She smiled at me and i sighed, how was i ever going to live even a day without that smile? "Dad has gone out with Alice, She insisted on him going shopping with her, you know how she gets, and i secretly think she was doing us a favour, giving us time without him spoiling it." she smiled wider at this, and i returned her smile, drawing her closer and kissing her lightly on the lips, and then suddenly i snapped away. Realising something in my head. It was perfect. One hundred percent perfect, and the information that i had just recieved from Nessie made it that much sweeter. Nessie looked at me with disaproval on her face. "Jacob, What is the matter?" I'd obviously upset her a small bit by snapping away from her like that. but i knew what i was about to say was about the change her mood.  
"uhmm.. Ness.. Can we walk out into the woods abit.." I looked at her pleadingly whilst saying this, "So your mother can't hear us.." i wispered. Her eyes grew bright and she nodded, almost obidiently.

When we was far out of sight from the household, i pulled her into my arms and kissed her roughly, i wanted her to know how much i loved her in that one kiss, and i wanted her to know that she could trust me in that kiss also. I pulled her to arms length once more, feeling abit uncertian now... for all i knew, maybe she would rather stay in her family than chose me over them. I paused. "Jake... what is on your mind.. Please tell me, I have to leave in a mere 15 minutes, and i need to know your feelings." she cried, looking at me through her innocent eyes. I inhaled deeply, preparing myself. i knew that it was now or never.  
"Renesmee.." i sighed, trying my hardest to smile "How would you feel right now, if i told you this wasn't goodbye, that we could be together forever, and that we could marry tomorrow.. no tonight if you so much as desired?" she looked at me through her innocent eyes once more, but this time they gleamed hope. This glimmer of hope made me hopeful, and i smiled a real smile this time. "You know what i'd say Jacob, i'd say Let's Do it, because i love you more than life itself,and i need us to be together more than anything." she smiled. Then she put her hands on my face, replaying the memory of me giving her the engagement ring through my head once more. she put her hands down and looked at the floor again. "But we both know that that isn't going to happen is it? I wish there was some way-"  
I cut her off, putting her face in my hands and raising it so she was looking at me, looking at the certainty in my face.

"No Ness, There is a way! there is, i've found it in my head, as soon as those words came out of your mouth, about Alice taking your dad away so he couldn't steal this moment, Well this IS the perfect moment Nessie!! We can be together!! just you and me, we can run away right now, and everything will be just as we want it, your dad will not be in the way anymore, and we can do what we like!" All my words came out rushed and uneven. I knew this was the only option for me and Nessie, and i wanted this to work, and i could see from the several different facial expressions that she pulled that she liked the idea of this too. I Loved how adventorus she was - She obviously didn't get this from Bella's side.  
Then a look of dispear ran through her face. "They will find us, Jacob, I really wish it was this simple, i love you so much, but If Dad doesn't find us, then Alice might." She moaned, tears welling at the corners of her eyes again. I Kissed her forehead, and kissed down untill i reached her lips, then smiled at her reasurringly. "No baby, thats where you are wrong, Alice is probably preoccuping your dads thoughts right now right? and Alice, well she finds it quite hard to see you now anyway, and when i phase into a wolf, she cannot see me either, if i phase throughout our journey to whichever distination we may take, we have a chance! and we will be so far away that your father wont be able to hear us!!"

There was silence. Oh no, she was thinking it through, was she thinking that my ideas where stupid? that we could never do this? i really can not take rejection from her right now. I was doing all i could not to breakdown at this very moment already. She Looked at me and smiled her brilliant, wide smile. "I Love You Jacob, And i Trust You. Lets do this!" I laughed hystirically, pulled her up and swung her round. She had just made me the happiest man alive. I Kissed her all over her face and neck. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen I Love You So Much" And then i let go of her, took a few steps back and phased. She then got on my back grabbed hands full of my fur, and we where off, This was it. Nessie and me where on the run. On the run from her family, and when the packs found out, we would be on the run from them too. But i knew that we could do this. With her love i could do anything. 


	4. My baby

**EDWARD'S POV*  
"These brown ones are soo you Edward, I think Bella would agree too..." Alice drowned on while i pretended to listen. As if i needed another pair of shoes anyway.. We where moving to England. It was rainy there, and i had more than enough shoes to withstand its rainy weather. And i knew all but too well why Alice was doing this too. She did not want me around when Renesmee said goodbye too the mutt. I can't blame her actually, i would never forgive myself if i made my daughter miserable for too long.. But because she was half mortal, i thought that maybe in time she could forget about jacob, and love someone more suitable, but then again thinking it though, her memory was so precise, how could that ever happen. I don't know why i despised him for being with Renesmee so much. I knew from the begining that this was destined to happen, and after the "fight" with the Volturi afew years ago i had even called him 'son'. Just the father instinct in me i guess. i snapped out of my thoughts instantly, because i knew if i thought about them any longer, i'd be searching for Jacob and Renesmee's thoughts, and i had promised myself not to do that today. She Needed to say goodbye and I needed to give her that much at least.

"Alice, they've had long enough, Now can we forget this charade and go home now?" i said in a mere mumble, lifting one eyebrow at her. She looked disapointed. Obviously expecting her 'shopping spree' to last a tiny bit long that an hour. but hey, you win some you lose some, and it was now time, for the cullens to go to England. She huffed and puffed like a small dragon at me. "i suppose so.. but i think it would be a good idea to do a quick hunt first, it takes quite a while to get to england you know" She looked at me and i could see she was hungry. I gave in, and agreed to hunt with her.

As we paced to the medows, and got in our crouching positions to hunt the Elk near by, Alice jumped out of her posistion and froze, her eyes wide in horror. In a mere second i got out of my position and was at her side holding her shoulders, "Alice.. What is it?!! i ordered, voice thick with worry. her head shook frantically. "They've gone edward, And now i cannot see them!!" Her voice was frantic, and Venom pumped in my viens as each word came out of Alice's mouth, That Filthy Mutt had taken my baby away!! Mine and My Love's baby away!! venom covered my mouth as i hissed in protest. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY HAVE GONE?!" but of course Alice didn't even have to tell me what she meant, i saw it in her head, them talking seriously, and the mutt kissing my daughter passionatly untill he let go of her, and thats when he must have phased because alice's vision went black. I wanted to scream, i wanted to lash out. But i needed to create a plan. and not only that, i needed to inform my wife, no doubt she would be worried. espeically worried of my reaction. 


	5. Pain

**EPOV**

I spat venom at the floor, and looked at Alice's face, her reaction was the same as mine "I trusted him to have alone time with Nessie, to say their last goodbye, i brought you out so they could have some time ALONE, and this is how they repay me, repay Us?!?!" Alice's voice and anger raised with every word. "Get Bella," She hissed aloud, "We're going to track down that dog and bring Renesmee home, as soon as we've found them, its STRAIGHT to England.. No more favours for that backstabbing Mutt!!"

I Nodded and sped home to my Love, no doubt Bella must have noticed Jacob and Renesmee's absence, and she would be as worried as me and Alice were. Bella heard my sprints towards the house and as the house came into view, She jogged -gracefully- towards me and we ran into each others arms.  
I cradled her and hushed her twisted sighs and sobs. "Why didn't i stay out front with them, why didn't i listen to them, i could have heard them inside the house and yet i chose to ignore it and-" I cut Bella off from her rambling and kissed her softly upon her lips.  
"It was the Mutt's idea, we know Renesmee would never disown her family like this, and now, we are going to track down his scent. We WILL get back our daughter Bella, i Promise you that." And with one more Kiss, Bella took my hand and searched for our daughter.

Bella and I met up with Alice Near the entrance of the woods not far from our home, This is where Renesmee and Jacob had had their talk in Alice's vision, and we where keen to pick up any werewolf scent that we could, and the scent was still fresh, the scent led us up north, It amazed me that Jacob and Renesmee had not realised that we would find them sooner or later, and at this rate, sooner, i laughed musically at their stupid mistake. They obviously didn't realise how much trouble they would be in, once I had caught up with them.

We sped continually for about a mile until i caught the tenor of Renesmee's mind. And it was not something i particually wanted to her mind she kept dwindling on about how much "fun" it would be living with Jacob, and how wierd and surreal it would be to be living together like adults. Like 'mother and father' did. It made me sick that our daughter had actually compared her relationship with the mutt, to mine and Bella's. Then suddenly, like a switch being flipped, i could hear her thoughts change as she begin to smell alice's scent.

Thats when i could suddenly hear Renesmee's voice ring out loud like a bell "Jake! Stop! Alice!"  
I could hear Jacob curse aloud and in his mind, cursing to me more than Alice, even though it was intinally Alice that Renesmee had smelt first. This made me chuckle as he realised his defeat.  
Bella pushed me and sped up towards where Our daughter and Jacob had stopped, i followed slowly, giving Bella space to talk before i unleashed hell on my daughter and the mutt.

Seconds later i could hear them talking and Bellas angelic voice joined in. I could hear them arguing about how unfair i was being. Ha, Yeah, as if. I think we all knew i was being nothing but reasonable, this was my daughter's life we where talking about here. "Mom, we love each other, why can't you just let us stay together?! I NEED him!!" Renesmee Cried

"Nessie, Darling, i know, but you understand that we have stayed in Forks to long, we need to move. If Jacob could come with us you know i would have no problem with that, Jacob is my best friend and i love him-"

"Yeah.. way to show it Bells" Jacob sneered sarcasically, interupting Bella. She gave him a sympathetic look and carried on.

"But Jacob has commitments here in forks, he has a pack to look after and maintain, he cannot leave his pack with Sam, he does that enough, You wouldn't deny Seth and Leah of that would you Honey?" Bella Soothed. Ahh, my sweet wife, i knew her pain of this situation, and it hurt me inside that i was doing this to not only my daughter but the love of my life too, but i would not put my family at risk for him, i would not have them exposed!

I came into the clearing,trying to stay calm, when a view appeared that tainted my mind. Renesmee was hanging onto jacob for dear life and clinging on to his waist, almost as if she needed to cling onto his waist for support. The look on little Nessie's face sent a shock of pain through me. and then, after seeing this i heard it. Jacob's thoughts uncoherent with desire for my daughter.  
My lips peeled back to show my teeth and i hissed at Jacob. Jacob automatically removed Renesmee from the side of him and Stood protectively infront of her. "Daddy, Please don't do this. I Love Him." Renesmee cried from behind him.  
I couldn't listen to her words now, my eyes focused on the dog in front of him. I heard every thought going through his mind. He wanted to fight. He wanted to try and hurt me. He'd been waiting for this for a long time.

I Grinned at him, never taking my eyes off of him. "Come on then young Jacob, Take your hit, this is your perfect oppertunity, you've been waiting a long time for this after all" i sniggered at him.  
His eyes widened, then took a run for me, jumping up in the air mid run, and phasing into his werewolf form. a scream escaped from Renesmee's mouth,

**NPOV**

I couldn't hold back the scream that errupted from my mouth. In the next few miliseconds, my mother had grabbed me from the back in a iron tight grip, making it next to impossible to break from. Because my mother had made it almost impossible for me to break-free from her, i turned into her chest, covering my eyes from my father hurting my love, my Jacob. But no, i realised i must watch this scene, as painful as it was. It proved father to be the Monster that he really was.

"EDWARD!" My mother and i screeched in unison as we watched Jacob lunge at dad and narrowly missing him. Yet i couldn't believe Alice had the nerve to just standing there gawping at the fight infront of us, I'd hardly even noticed her presence in the opening, even though her scent was the first scent i encountered of mine and Jacob's unwanted guests.

I felt like i was being stabbed in the heart,drowning in a pool of emotion as i watched what could all be the death of my other half. I could feel pain, watching him recieve it, anger, wanting to help jacob, wanting to harm my father, and disbelief that father could be so uncaring. Two people that i loved dearly fighting, fighting because of Me. At this point, father had caught Jacob off guard, and he had him by the throat, grinning as his grip twisted from his hands on to Jacobs Neck. Because of my father's actions towards my love and her best friend, i could feel my mother stiffen against me. Then with a nervous sigh she screamed at father. "Don't be so insensitive!! Do you NOT remember how hard it was when we spent that time apart when you left me here, Jacob was the only person who cared for me back then," i saw my "father" flinch from the words whilst pinning jacob into an inescapable headlock, "and this is how we repay him?! we're put him in that same situation for himself?! Edward have SOME decency for crying out loud!"

All was silent. the only sound that could be heard was the grinding of father's teeth.

He stood there, frozen. Making the grip on Jacob's throat even tighter. Why was this happening?! Why wasn't he letting go of him?!?!! I bashed and struggled against my mother's hold but it was as hard as ever. I pulled, yet could not restrain her grip.

As if he had heard my mother's words for the first time since she had spoken them, father's eyes widened and he released his hold from upon Jacob's neck, dropping him onto the fresh green grass. He looked at Jacob harshly whilst backing away and edging towards a large bolder. I felt my mother's grip losen and i ran towards my poor injured love,crying furiously whilst resting my head upon Jacob's russet fur, stroking his neck and allowing tears to fall into the fur. "Jacob! Jacob! I'm So Sorry, I wish i was stronger, i would have got him away from you! I love you so much i.. i.." struggling for words i buried my head into his warm body, crying more as Jacob moaned, his small cries almost sounded like reasurance, like my father hadn't hurt him at all. I winced, even when he was in pain he was trying to make me feel better. I kissed his neck and pulled my fingers through the thick fur once more, comforting him. I looked up slightly and saw the feet of my father, sitting on the bolder, with my mother's feet next to him. You could tell she was doing to him what i was doing to Jacob, Comforting. Thats when something clicked inside of me. I saw red, and began to feel a surge of Rage as i got up on my two feet at looked at him with poisoned eyes."LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO HIM!" i screamed "Look at how you have hurt him!! I feel sick to even call you my father!!" i spat at him, kneeling back down to jacob, stoking his russet coloured face. He nudged me delicately and i moved back, knowing that he wanted to phase back. I watched his every move as he did so, not wanting to miss a second in his presence. He got straight up and grabbed me, pulling me in close and hugging me tight, i nustled into his chest as he planted kisses all over my forehead, murming to me over and over again "I Love You." I placed my hand gently onto the side of his face, and showed him how much i loved him too. i ignored everybodies presence. I heard father and Alice walk away wiskfully, and father growling "Bella", this snapped me out of my beautiful world that i was in with Jacob, and brought me back to the harsh realities of my father being a monster and distroying my life, and how we had to leave forks within the next 5 minutes. Mother moved closer towards us and was at our side in less than a second. I could see that even though she had no tears, she was crying too. She kissed Jacobs shoulder and whispered "I'm so sorry" and with the last syllable that escaped her lips she grabbed my wrist and pulled me away, i grasped on as hard as i could to Jacob, my screams of dispear ringing out through the trees, i could not leave him now! my love wieghed too heavy on my heart for me to do this on my own, i needed him to breathe, as as my fingers slowly but surely slipped away from my love's, a steady sob escaped from between his twisted lips. "Please, Don't Leave me" Jacob begged as our touch escaped each others.

I tried to reach out for his hand once more, touching only the mere tip's of his fingers, tears streaming from my face. "Wait for me.." i pleaded back at him, not seeing anything else but his face, and i watched his face fade away in a mere matter of seconds. i wailed loudly in protest. Wishing death upon myself.

*  
I blocked out our very brief journey back to the house and straight into father's stupid silver volvo, and i blocked out us arriving at the airport too, the only thing i even thought about doing was replaying those last intimate moments i had, had with Jacob, me crying into his chest, him kissing me tenderly and declearing his love for me. Thats all i cared about, Jacob's love. I looked at father every so often to see him squirm in pain, He could not escape my thoughts even if he tried. "Can you try and keep your thoughts to yourself!?" he growled in a small stern voice.  
i grinned and threw my long, copper locks over my shoulder. "Does it hurt Daddy? I hope it hurts as much as it hurts me." i sang sweetly, making the words twist bitterly at the end. He flinched again. and i laughed musically at this, Mother giving me a quick slap across the shoulders "Aircraft Number 5928 To England boarding, Last Call. Number 5928" the operating system sounded from the speakers above our heads. My scarcasm now dropped and i winced at the thought of getting on that plane, Leaving Jacob behind for who knows how long... it felt as if my life was grinding to a slow and steady halt, I would Never forget this pain that my father had endured me, and it was certian that i would never forget the love of Jacob Black. My Love For Him.

Never. 


	6. November

Please review -x-Gigi&Chloe-x-

Wednesday, 18th November 2010. 11:38PM

Dear diary,  
It has been 2 years, 1 month, 11 days, 14 hours and 38 minutes since i last saw Jacob. And ive hated every minute of it.

P.S. Ive decieded to start a diary to record my pain and hate. (And maybe to maintain some sense of mentality.)

***

Thursday, 19th November. 11.46PM It has now been 2 years 1 month,12 days, 14 hours and 46 minutes since i last saw Jacob, and i am Still Hating Every minute of it. Living without Jacob is like the sky without stars. He was my guide, i needed him. Every thought i ever had of Jacob was fresh in my memory and i currently was still not speaking to my father. Mom has tried her hardest to mend the situation, and yet no good has come from her meddling. Altough i do feel bad, being ignorant with my mother, she has lost her best friend too, but things with Jacob and me are different than they where with her. She doesn't understand. She COULDN'T understand as far as i was concerned. I don't even want dad to suffer anymore for what he has done to me, but he still does, of course he cannot escape my thoughts. Sometimes i wish he could, its so fustrating having him know every little detail of Jacob and me, how our relationship blossomed, and my feelings for him. It couldn't be any clearer for him if he'd cut open my insides and had a little peek at them. Every wound was open, and every scar was unhealed. Him trying to 'symphasise' just adds salt to it. I still can not make contact with them. It is too painful for me to open up right now.

Saturday, 21st November. 5:14PM

Dear Diary,  
Today I was informed about some rather grim events,I was informed that i have to start highschool on monday, and i am not at all impressed with it. It happened all so fast really, considering i had not spoken to any members of my family since we got off the plane into England, it had annoyed me that they had even tried to get some sort of 'family meeting' in order. My mother called me down and i had decided slowly but surely gotten to the main room of the household, making time drag extra slow. I was suprised to see that all of the family where in the room, eyes all on me telling me that i would indeed be enrolled to public education. Ha! like i needed it. But once again, Father Edward knows best doesn't he?! If it was possible for me to die a humanly death, he would have probably done that no doubt. Why doesn't he just start the BBQ now and throw me onto the fire?

*FLASHBACK*  
"Renesmee, sweetie, please come here." Mother's tender voice called from our new living room. I slowly stomped towards the room, taking my time. I'd noticed that i had been doing that alot recently and the reason for this was to piss them off, they knew i could get down those stairs and make it into that room as fast as they could. After making much of a racket stomping down the stairs, i gracefully entered the opening of the room and sat myself down into one of the new beige recliner chairs, and sank myself into it, i had a feeling this could take a while. The whole family being in the room for disscussion made me feel abit uneasy, as all of their eyes where placed on me, none of them giving anything away. I could have said something like "What" to them, just to know what was going on, but even that felt like an effort that they didn't deserve. Not after uprooting me and bringing me here. A shot a quick glance at Carlisle, and he returned the glance at me, looking apologetically into my eyes. I nearly gave him a small smile back that showed forgiveness, untill i remembered that a poker face was needed in these circumstances, and i knew that if father was reading my thoughts he'd find that amusing no doubt. It was hard to keep strong at times like these. Carlisle and Esme had not hurt me, okay, they needed us to move so that the people of forks did not realise our non-aging, but they had not torn me away from my love, not like father did. But i wanted to be able to speak to them freely without feeling such grudges. They where my loving grandparents afterall.

But hey, i guess i had to get used to doing things on my own, like hunting, shopping and cooking, Even though the independance was getting to me. If truth be told i rather liked the idea of being dependant on someone. my thoughts where cut short when Carlisle interupted my thoughts. "Since we have all decided it best to have a knew start here, It has been decided to enroll you all into school, its about 2 miles away from here-"

Before Carlisle had chance to say his next word i jumped up out of my seat, My cheeks flushing red with anger "WHAT?!" I exploded, speaking for the first time since i had moved down to england. "how DARE you enroll ME into SCHOOL?! Even worse, You do it without my Consent!! What is this?! WHO DID THIS?!?!" i bellowed, my musical voice ringing out loud and clear like a bell once more. The whole family took a step back as if the sound of my voice had hurt them almost, it had been a long time since they had heard my voice at all, let alone it screaming at them.

I turned to everyone, Carlisle first, loathing-ness pouring out of my eye sockets. He quickly and calmly shook his head, to clarify that it was indeed not him who had conquered up this plan against me, i then turned to my uncles, who also shook their heads, altough Emmet looked rather amused, with a slight grin on his face, and i could hear his silent chuckles underneath his breath. I stared at him long and hard, and he grin became even wider, spreading across his face and showing his perfect white teeth. He coughed and spluttered whispering Edward inbetween. I smiled at him politely, and Woah, it felt wierd to turn the corners of my mouth another way for a change, this made Rosalie smile too for a small moment, and then i turned to look at the man who had done this. Edward Anthony Cullen. No other than my father. I Shot daggers at him through my eyes, and watched him compose his face for a small moment. preparing his speech to roll off his tongue in a matter of seconds.

"I would say i'm sorry Renesmee... But the fact of the matter is, i am not. You are developed in your Vampire half, and altough you know everything that an education can offer you, You look like the perfect 15 to 16 year old, and it is time you started to expierence the school life. We have all had to do this too, many a time i can tell you." he smiled crookedly. He looked totally unbothered by the crap he had just fed me. And i Looked at him whilst scoffing fustraitedly. I looked around the room for less than a quick second and sprinted upstairs, Locking my bedroom door and grabbing and my green and brown, crushed velvet, LOCKABLE diary.  
*END OF FLASHBACK*

All i want to do right now is to see Jacob, and right now. I'm not sure how much long i can take this torture. I'm starting to feel really outraged, I've even started taking it out on the poor animals that i feed upon. Ripping them apart slowly, slicing and slashing them, making them suffer, before i drained them alive. Carlisle kept that that it was abuse to the animals, and it was malicious, because i should give them a quick and painless death. But i did not care for those animals right now. My prey had it easy, I would endure their pain over and over again. feel the death of them over and over again, take their place. because NOTHING could make me feel any worse that i did now. Nothing could make me suffer anymore.

And even though i had all this bothering me right now. I realised that i was actually nervous and scared about going to a public school. i was scared that i would not fit in, If i got teased, would i be able to handle them, or would i slip up and treat them the way i treated my prey?  
All i'm focusing on right now is being more adult, developing my brain and body to grow up even more, because the sooner i grew physically and mentally, The sooner i would see my beloved. The sooner i could fly home, back to my true home and my true love. Jacob.

* Chloee! Your such a big help and i love the socks off you! Her pename:ChloeCasinoCullen *  
* and katie! Howd i forget you XD.-* 


	7. My deepest love, always

Please review -x-Gigi&Chloe-x-

To the love of my Life,  
Renesmee Carlie Cullen, Yesterday you left my life, for what seems like forever. I can assure you that my life will no longer be filled with sunny days, with dewy,green grass and bright blue skies... They all went away the moment your father commanded his orders and your family took you away from me. I can't begin to even tell you why i love you so much, i don't even know why im even trying to write it down. They are just words.  
All i want to do is hold you in my arms, and be able to get that tiny little peice of me back. The tiny piece that is you, because without it, i cannot opperate properally. I can not function. I Need you to live Renesmee. I can still Smell your incredible scent, like no other, i can still feel your long copper brown locks between my fingers, i can still see your chocolate eyes locked to mine, I can still taste your lips. I've broke down so many times already, and its only been a day.. I honestly don't think i'm going to be able to stay alive. Of course, you will never realise this, as i won't be sending these letters to you. I just hope, wherever you have gone in the world, you are thinking of me, And i PROMISE with all my heart,body and soul that i will keep to my word Nessie, I Promise i WILL wait for you. However Long it takes. My Deepest Love Always, Jacob Xxx

To my Beautiful Nessie, I Wonder what you are thinking of, I miss the touch of your hand on my cheek as you communicate your thoughts to me. I think thats one of the things i miss more than anything about you. Our way of communication. You would just have to place your perfectly pale hand onto my face, and you would reasure me of everything, and remind me of how much you loved me so, which only made me love you even more, if ever that be possible. Did you know that it has been exactly 1 month and 11 days since i last saw you? thats right sweetheart, its Wednesday the 18th November, i can hardly believe it myself, it feels like it has been years. I Hope you realise that it still pains me now as it did the day your arms left mine.. All i do is forever replay our memories in my mind.. To be quite honest the pack are getting sick of it now, having to see me mourn for you as if your dead..Leah said you might as well be because i will never see you again. I attacked her as soon as the words rolled out of her mouth.. she was badly injured, but of course healed straight away.. unfortantly.. but doing that to her only reminded me of the day you left more.. and the fight with your father... Well anything to piss off Leah eh? I miss you terribly, forever and always, Come on Ness, I'm waiting for you like i promised.. and your not here, why are your family doing this to me? to us?? i just wish i had some way of communicating with you... something to compensate the fact of me not seeing your beautiful face everyday.. It's funny though, Sometimes in my head i can hear you as clear as day..But thats never really enough. I NEED you Nessie. Waiting Forever, My Deepest Love Always,  
Jacob Xxx

My Beautiful Nessie,  
Today feels like a better day, and no, not because the pain of you has disapeared, not at all, that still weighs heavy on this heart of mine, It was because i was sleeping, and your voice screamed at me. Odd i know, but even your screams are beautiful, it's like you was actually here with me. I was really disapointed when you was not there. I had to bring myself not to cry.. (Obviously i wouldn't admit this to my pack, You know how macho i get - Real men don't cry) But if my tears are shed for you, then yes, i will cry. You are the only person worth crying over. who knew that you screaming "WHAT!" at me in my dreams could be so amazing! I'm hoping that is a sign, either a sign of a good day or an AMAZING sign that i am some how willing to speak with you in some way shape or form. Now i am dreaming Huh? GOD! why does this have to be so hard Ness?! I'm glad you won't actually read all these letters, because in alot of them, i plot revenge on your father.. He enjoys my pain i think... I Still wonder where you are, and hope everyday for your return. Sleep tight my love, Rest well, and above all, Try your hardest to remember me.. Because i love you darling, and we will be together, and do not forget, you are my fiance.. which means we are bound to be together. Remember our day at La Push's first beach? the day your dad went the MADDEST over your thoughts? Well.. I think about that alot. You looked perfect. You ARE perfect my beautiful princess. My Deepest Love Always,  
Jacob Xxxx 


	8. December

Pleasee Review! Im loving them!!

Thankyou: IsabellClair, luvroftwilight, Leona!!

-x-Gigi&Chloe-x-

*****

Thursday, 3rd December. 11:22AM

Dear Diary,  
Christmas is coming up, and i usually love this time of year, but I hate it now.2 Years 2 months 4 days i have spent without Jacob, My personal angel. I begged to the the most my willpower could let me to be able to see Jacob this christmas, and of course, my request was rejected. Even considering this was the second time that i have talked sinced being here in England. I could not understand why dad would not allow it, there would be no school anyway, as it would be the christmas holidays. I think the only good thing about moving to England was the fact that i had made friends at the dump of a High school i had been enrolled in. It was called Waseley High and the two people i had become friends with where called Katie and Abbie. Fortunatly, People at Waseley where very welcoming and i didn't have to try much to gain friends..

*FLASHBACK*  
I walked into the crowded reception area of the school with half of my family.(Apart from Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper, They had been enrolled to Newman college not far away.) We made our way through to the desk where a young woman was standing, Helping out other students and giving them maps and planners. My mother and Edward where acting as Sixth formers, which was Year 12 over in England,Alice was acting as a year 11 student, and i was suppost to be year 10. Yay for me and Alice, i sighed. We had ridiculous uniforms in which we had to walk around in. Not only that but light blue shirts, blue and yellow ties, with black skirts, knee high socks and black dolly shoes. Great, i wasn't very impressed to put it lightly. Mom and Edward got to wear there own clothes. Suckish. They get all the Luck, But then again, how embarressing would it have been to see my parents in school uniform?! How annoying was it anyway that i was going to have to pretend that my parents and aunty where actually my brother and sisters? What was with that?! God damn highschool, and everything it represented!!

"Hello, We are Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's foster children, We were wondering if we could have our Lesson plans?" Edward asked Calmly, Obviously he had been through this routine a thousand times before. "Uhmm.. Yes.. Hang.. Hang on one minute please!" the woman stuttered and stammered from the otherside. She was obviously 'Dazzled' as my mother put it, but Edward's beauty, and probably wondering how a group of small people could be so physically attractive. Ha, if only she knew.

We waited for a couple of minutes before the woman at the desk returned with our year plans and maps of the school. Edward handed the pieces of paper out to Mother and Alice, Then gave mine to me last. I think that my ignorance towards him was getting on his final nerve now, and he decided to play the game back at me. "Mmm" i grunted before turning around and analysing the sheet in front of me. German first, with in L3. I Looked at the Map, Where the Hell was that?! Alice leaned over my shoulder and pointed the way, and she walked the same direction as me for a few seconds, before turning off at a corner. "Catch you later Ness," she smiled and winked, dancing off towards where her first lesson was. Every boy in that hall that past her seemed to also have a serious case of 'Dazzlement'.

I sighed and walked down the hall, then up a flight of stairs, and into a narrow corridor, flooded by hormal teenagers, chatting and laughing loudly. I scrunched my face up. This was probably going to be worse than i feared. i tried looking at the door numbers, looking for L3, but my sight was only to be blocked by more teenagers. This was almost infuriating. I scanned the faces of each and every human body in the room for a second or so, trying to look for the most innocent face i could find, And then i found her. She looked about my age, and she was standing with her back to me. I gently tapper her on the shoulder, and she spun around sending her straight brown hair flying everywhere, close enough to hit me in the face.

"Yes?" she asked, her face and voice full of question, yet it was not a harsh tone, and i considered this to be a good sign.

"Erm.. Hi, i was wondering if you could tell me where to find L3?" I asked, slightly nervously. She returned my nervous glance for a smile.

"Yeah! i have that lesson right now, Don't worrry your in the right place! You can sit with me and my friend if you like" She was so friendly that i could not help but return her smile. I was hoping that i could find a friend in this girl, maybe it would make things in England a tiny bit easier.

"I'm Abbie Lee, Whats your name?" she said, taking my hand.

"I'm Renesmee, But friends call me Nessie" i replied.

"Oh yeah, i knew it was something fancy, Your with the new kids right?" she asked eagerly.. Oh no, I didn't like this, i hoped it wouldn't be the topic route of all conversations for today, or any other day, for that matter. "Yeah.." i shrugged. Her smile turned into a huge grin

"Oh, My, GOD!" she squeeked "That guy, Your foster brother? Edward i think his name is.. IS SO HOT!!" She got abit excited and jumped around on the spot for abit, and my nose wrinkled at the fact she had just called my brother hot. Ew. Double Ew. i did not want to hear her fantasizing about my dad. She looked at the girl stood next to her, who i had not noticed before and Shoved her, "Don't you think so, Katie?" She gushed, while i tried to hide the traumatasization in my eyes. Katie Shrugged whilst her cheeks flushed red. "No." she replied to Abbie, before turned back to look at me. "I'm Katie Barns" she smiled "excuse Abbie, i think she has a few mental problems.." She whispered, but loud enough for her friend to hear. Abbie nudged her and giggled. I giggled and smiled too. Having these people to communicate with didn't seem too bad after all, And for a small amount of time, they made the hole in my heart a little bit smaller, But it still didn't close the Gap that longed for Jacob.  
*END OF FLASHBACK*

These people that i had now called my friends made me feel a tiny bit better about myself, and i cherrished that alot. It was Christmas in 22 days, and i was praying to God - If there was any God at all - That I would be flown to Forks, And i would be home for christmas - That i would see Jacob.

********

Saturday, 27th December.

Dear diary,  
I hope to NEVER see another christmas again. Not unless I am in Jacobs arms. It was uninventful, tiring, deafening and boring. Being in a household full of vampires, They did not seem to bother with holidays like this, there was no Christmas spirit at all. Unlike Spending time down in La Push, with the packs all together, Having a Christmas meal, spending time with My grandfather Charlie, And spending time with Billy, and obviously the best thing of them all, Jacob. Only the La Push wolves can make Christmas interesting. I Was so enraged when i knew for certain that i would not be spending christmas in forks. URGH. They didn't even have to come with me if they didn't want to, they could have sent me on a plane by myself.

They could have just gave me a week, no not even that, A Day! A Day of happiness!! What did they think i was going to do?! run away with Jacob again?? Yeah right like i would even try it, Like i would put myself through that heartache again. They make me sick. Not even my mother stood up for me. "maybe it's for the best Nessie,Darling" she would go on, siding with father. In fact everyone did. I couldn't even run to Roaslie this time, who ALWAYS stood up for me. Well Forget this!! I'm going out to see my friends, at least they give a fuck about me. 


	9. Christmas with you

Please review xx -x-Gigi&Chloe-x-

To My Darling Nessie,

Its coming up to Christmas, I bet your excited huh? Christmas is our favourite time of year together, and has been for... well.. since you where born really. The best thing about christmas is going round to Charlies, Even though he doesn't actually cook Christmas dinner.. which is a good thing as he's cooking is TERRIBLE!!

I'm so glad him and Sue found each other, she makes EXCELLENT christmas dinner! Me, Sam, the packs, Bells, even Edward at Christmas times! Billy, And of course, most importantly.. You my love, Christmas is a time to be shared with loved ones, and all i keep thinking about, wondering and hoping, is that your father decides to come to forks for Christmas with you and Bells, because that would make my whole life, Just to see you, if only for a day.. and i am hopeful for it too, i have a good feeling about it.

I don't think Bella would not want to see Charlie at christmas, and i do not think she would want to deprive you of that right either! So yes, i am excited for Christmas, and i hope your enjoying your christmas excitement as much as i am. I often wonder if you go to school, wherever you are in the world right now, do you have friends? do boys take large interest in you and your beauty? do you ever wonder if it would be easier to forget about me and be with someone else? I hope you have made friends, no doubt you would have, your so special and people can't help but be warmed by you. I am also hoping that You HAVENT let those boys have TOO much interest in you... Remember our promise baby. I Love You. See you at Christmas.

My Deepest Love Always,  
Jacob Xxx

Dear Renesmee,  
I AM SO FUCKING ENRAGED RIGHT NOW!!! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ANGER WAS UNTIL THIS MOMENT IN TIME!!! YOUR FATHER IS AN IDOIT AND YOUR MOTHER IS A DAMNED FOOL FOR PROBABLY TAKING HIS SIDE!!! Its the 25th Decemember.. and its the middle of the afternoon, and therefore it is pretty obvious your not coming, i also had it confirmed by Charlie and Sue.... Do you know how embarressing that was?! i was staring at the door, and he sighed, patted my shoulder and said 'their not coming, i'm so sorry.' I could have gone ape shit and phased right there! right there!! i bet it was your Father, going on all alpha male like he does... 'No, Renesmee, i will not have you seeing that mutt for christmas,blah blah blahh.' and i can see your mother, a woman i once called my best friend nodding and agreeing with him. 'i think it would be best honey blah blahh blah' URGH!! just thinking about it is annoying the hell out of me, i had to get out of Charlies house, down to La Push and go for a run for a while, because if i didn't i would end up hurting somebody, and that is something i do not want darling,espesically the people we both love. I'm just.. GRR! I was just really looking forward to seeing you this christmas.. and i really thought that this time i would DEFFIANTLY see you, i had a gut feeling, and i'm so pissed off that i got myself into that state. That i led myself to believe this christmas i would have you in my arms again. I am so stupid. URGH. Another reason i had to leave is that Leah, well.. believe it or not, me and the pack think she has imprinted, she seems to have anyway, and shes laughing, and is actually happy with someone else, instead of drowning us in her thoughts of sam.. which would be a relief if it wasn't so sickening. His name is Sean, and he seems like an alright kid. I don't think he knows anything about the werewolf side of things yet, but if she really has imprinted then i'm sure it won't be long before the boy gets let into the mad and chaotic world. Oh God, i've just relised right now. I am now going to be the annoyance of the pack, everyone is already fed up of my grievance for you.. Just like we were of Leah's and now she is happy, everyone is going to see my grievance much more than hers. I hate this. PLEASE COME BACK NESSIE. I promised i would wait for you, and i have waited for too long now.  
Happy Christmas, Jacob Xxx 


	10. Authors note! Sorry!

IM FREAKING SORRY!

I am sorry for the late update on jakes letter, I was at my step-sisters for dinner.

I am also sorry, I will try to update as much as possible on the weekend because from midnight sunday/monday, i will be on my way to Germany for the week (Ugh greeeaaat 16 hours on a freaking coach with one of my best mates (Ha abbie G (Also known as abbie leeXDXD) Being travel sick (DARN YOU))

I will luckily be lending my account to Chloe so she will be updating about every 2 - 3 days for you :) (And lucy imma gon miss you, hide in my suitcase!)

AND I DO HAVE JANUARY DRAFTED WAITING FOR THE EDITED VERSION FROM CHLOEEEE!

So long and goodnight bobs and bobbets 


	11. January

Pleaseee Review!! -x-Gigi&Chloe-x-

THE STORYS ALSO ON QUIZILLA!

(Im sorry for whoevers fanfiction it was and came up with JLC! It was totally awesome and i love it! I am really sorry for using it it was the only thing that fit!)

*****

Friday, 15th January 6:18PM 2011

Dear diary.  
Back to school. Back to hell. Still no Jacob. Which im actually getting pissed about. There is three main reasons for which i am pissed and these three reasons are: 1)I need JLC(Jacob's love and care.) 2)I got thinking whilst look threw my cell phone the other week and.. Jacob KNEW Carlisle's number! And mine! UGH! Why wouldn't he phone already!!!!! It's not like he didn't have a choice in the matter! 3)I had to live through Christmas Jacob-less, Which by the way was HELL.

Today, Abbie, Katie and I were walking to chemistry when Alice grabbed me by the arm with a worried face upon her.

"Dont worry girls she'll be along in a minute," She excused us politely, securing my wrist in her iron trap of a hand, towing me behing the MS block.

"Ness, ive been getting visions of us all going back to Forks," She whispered, but still sounding concerned.

"YES! Aha! I knew they'd give in!" I squeeled smugly, trying hard to keep the excitement dancing upon my face. Then seeing the worried expression still cast upon her perfect face worried me a little, forgetting my excitement. "What? Something wrong, what? OH MY FLUFF!"(Oh My Fluff was something i had picked up off Abbie, she got overally excited at some news and sent me and katie into a fit of hysterics.. It's kind of become a habbit since then on)  
"SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH JACOB!" I bellowed. "When. When are we going?" I demanded.

"First off, Nothings wrong with Jacob. You'll see him -In about Feburary- I saw us all walking towards Charlie's door, you sheding tears like theres no tomorrow, Sue walking outside with a few bags, then - BAM! Were gone." She said without emotion, except on BAM! She seemed Pissed after that.

"Why Charlie's?" I asked, starting to feel slightly confused.

"I don't know! But anyway i'll go speak to Edward at break and see what he thinks,But do NOT mention this to him. I Just wanted to give you a heads up, Now, You'll be late in 3 seconds, HURRY UP!" She urged, pushing my back so we was running towards the MS doors again.

I was convinced that they had to be something wrong with Jacob, There had to be, Otherwise why would Alice's vision disapear like that? I'm also worried by that fact that this all had something to do with Grandpa Charlie, Sue carrying a few bags, what could this initally mean? Was she moving in with him? was she finally leaving her old family home? Was Charlie and Sue to wed? If they where, then why was i grieving? Unless there was something wrong with Charlie or Sue? I highly doubted it, they were both as fit as a fiddle the last time i saw them. Had Alice mistaken my tears of joy for tears of grief? Alice had spent all of today scouring the future to find what led us back home, and she couldn't find the root of it, so it must have been the wolves doing. Unless it was my fuzziness in her vision? but that had cleared up alot as i grew and matured with age. All these questions flew into my mind in the three seconds that it took me to get to class, but i had answers to none, and this fustrated me alot. And now, being at home, it fustrated me even more. I needed to know what my future has in store for me.

I think its time to sleep now though, as i am getting rather tierd, what i'd give to be a full vampire right now, I wouldn't have to sleep. But i guess i should try anyway, and go back to finding answers in the morning. I Will dream of Jacob, As i do everynight.  
Damn it Jacob, Try calling me or something!!

****

Sunday, 17th January 7:36PM 2011

Dear diary,  
Alice keeps seeing the same thing, The same visions, No answers had been rest of the family knew about my knowledge of the visions now. I really need to call Jacob and speak with him now. Stupid Vamprick of a dad. Deleting the pack off my phone. He really did not want this, and i could tell how much he loathed that twinkle in my eye, The twinkle i got everytime my thoughts of being reunited with Jacob fluttered in my eyes. Of course he could hear the thoughts aswell, and his brow wrinkled in fustration everytime he heard them. "I wish you would take this more seriously Ness, There is a problem here, and Alice believes its a big one" Gah, cloud my thoughts even more why don't you. Now i had different images in my mind, of Jacob in pain, and Charlie and Sue where entwined into my thoughts of Jacob too, Why them in the vision? Why not Billy? This was highly fustrating.

Recently i have found my love for music, and i've started singing along too, this makes my father and mother smile, Because according to them i have a 'voice of an angel'. As if i would have any other choice in that matter though, It sounded like a choir of angels when i family even so much as muttered a response in conversation. But i'm doing this so that i have something to consentrate on instead of consentrating on my beautiful Jacob all the time. Dad said that if i didn't calm down on the whole Jacob situation, I would be grounded from seeing my new found friends Katie and Abbie - and i would not go back to forks if the vision came true. So singing helped keep my mind off things untill then. At least me and father where on better terms for now. They wern't great, and i had still not forgiven him. But it was easier being able to talk to him properally now. I was nearly back to my old self - minus the love of my life, Which made all my family happy, And they were all delighted to have me on speaking terms.

I recently discovered a singer called 'Lenka' and her music is rather interesting. Simple yet enjoyable. Innocent yet meaningful. Mother and Father don't mind her music too much either, and they like me too sing back to them.

I Can't wait till Febuary!! Eeeek!! Jacob Jacob Jacob!! Altough, he still has not had the power of speech obviously... Still No Phone Call. But maybe a phonecall would be too hard for him to take? Oh!! i just wish he would phone! i could tell him the good news! i could tell him that i would be reunited into his arms once again - hopefully for a long time...

Urghh. The Vision. What was so bad that was calling us back to forks?? it's really been niggling at me. I Just hope Jacob is okay. i hope the whole pack is okay. I hope grandpa Charlie is okay and i hope sue is okay. Hmm.. Singing time for me now i suppose. 


	12. Authors note :'

So here it is people.

Goodbye till friday. Im actually pretty pissed about this actually because were at a suspenseful bit now. DARN YOU!

So handing my account to the lovable fluffiness called chloe :)

I PROMISE! You will love her writing Shes an awesome author, I cant wait till she starts a fanfic :)

WISH ME LUCK IN GERMANY!

(Oh god im scared shitless about phantasia land :s)

Cyaaa later loosersss!

(No i actually value and love you all :)) 


	13. Last Day In England

Sunday 31st January 2011

Dear Diary,

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!! Do You realise what date it is???!?!?! today is the BEST day EVER!!

Reason: I'm going back to Forks, TOMORROW!! I'm being reunited with the love of my life, for the first time in what seems like forever!  
Okay, so i cannot lie, i have quite enjoyed the time that i spent in England. It was a new experience, and i had made some really great friends in that process. I couldn't really imagine weekdays now without Katie and Abbie in them. Laughing and crying too, having great days out to the cinema or the mall... It was going to be wierd leaving them behind. Thats what confused me. I didn't know weather to tell them about me leaving or not. I could just leave them.. It will be easier in the long run if i cut all ties now, I would hate to keep in touch with them for years and meet up with them one day and have them suspicious of me, Because of course, i wasn't really going to age anymore than i had.

Oh Damn It!!! I'm crying... I Wish the human side of me would shut down right now!! I had waited for so long to go back to my true home, and now it was coming up, i didn't know how good of an idea it would be to go back there. Of course their was Jacob, the pack, Charlie and Sue, Billy, along with everything else amazing about forks, but here i had experienced the way humans live, Without hanging out with Full on Vampires or werewolves every other five minutes. I had become close and dependant on my two new friends, And i wanted to be friends with them forever. They said that we are friends forever too. Obviously they do not realise that when i say 'forever' it really means 'forever', for an enternity. Damn It.

Urgh. Right, i'm not going to let these thoughts get to me right now. All i want is to see Jacob. Love conquers all right? Therefore, if it is a choice that i have to make, Then Jacob comes first... Maybe i will see them Later On. Not to tell them i'm leaving, but to make my last time with them amazing. I'll treat them to something amazing! We'll have an great time, and then, they will not remember me as the heartless bitch that couldn't be bothered to tell her friends that she was moving, but the friend that did nice things for the people she cared about. Yes, that sounds appropriate. I Hope when i'm gone they do not think bad of me.  
Right Better Phone Katie, and make arrangements.

Sunday 31st January 2011 22:00

Dear Diary,  
I Cannot sleep!! i'm so excited!! i will be leaving for forks extremely soon! We are leaving here at approxamately half past midnight. I've Already Packed and unpacked 10 times, just to make sure i am surely satisfied with the way i have packed it. I am restless! I Wish i was tierd!! i could have some sleep and that would make the time go quicker. That's all it is now that is keeping me from my love - Time. Urgh. Stupid time!

I Did go and see Abbie and Katie earlier on. We went to the Cinemas,Bowling and then i treated them both to a meal too. We had a really good time and a great laugh and i cannot think of a better way to remember them by, both happy, both smiling, both free.

I could not just leave it at that though, i couldn't just leave this and not tell them i was leaving, to never return... There was too much emotion in this to do that, i loved them so much, i loved them like i love Alice or Rosalie. They where like support machines for me, they made up for my loss of Jacob not being here.

I told them i was going on holiday for a little bit, and they wern't really suprised at this, They already think my family love to get away anyway, What with all the 'camping trips' we have. Ahh.

Abbie smiled wide and told me that i better get her a red sugar dummy for when i return and i squeemed at this. She laughed at me, assuming that i didn't like them, and ruffled my long, silky hair,like she was patting i dog, i pushed her and playfully stuck my tongue out. Ha, i was going to miss this fooling around.  
When it was almost time to return back to the Cullen'S English household i got a picture of us together to remember us by. I think i will send them that, Hopefully they will apprieciate it. I wish i could explain my situation to them a little better. But i would never share with them the secret world that my life held, that my life was. Life would be 10000 times easier for them if they were clueless and it was going to stay that way. So while we all smiled, laughed and cheered, i couldn't help but cry a little inside. I was clever to hide it, hopefully they didn't notice any sadness in my eyes... They always gave me away. Katie simply asked when i was coming home and i couldn't even look at her when i answered, and just replied 'i'm not sure yet, the family want to make it a long trip, you know.' Don't worry, i'll write to you'. Urgh. I hated lying, So thats when i decided to leave them, and we shared hugs and 'i miss yous', Me clinging on to the words 'we'll miss you' more than ever and replaying them in my head as i walked home..

So that is that for Katie and Abbie, unless fates somehow brought the Cullens back to England, Which i highly doubt. Now it is time for the present, time for Jacob, Time for Jacob and Me! God, that sounded so amazing to my ears. Jacob,Me,TOGETHER. I truely cannot wait. Has he kept his promise to me? Has he truely waited for me, instead of being with another? I Hope so, but then again, i know him. He deffinatly wouldn't go back on his promise. I Knew him too well. I can feel colour flush through my cheeks, thinking about our reunion. All that i need to do now is have a couple of hours on a plane. GOD!! Words can really not describe this feeling, this incredible yet impatient feeling in the pit of my stomach right now. Amazing. Hmm.. Father and Mother are calling, Mother is coming up the stairs gracefully as she does.. I can't believe that in her human life she was so Clumsy as father recalled.. Not for a second... Seems i've been summoned for a hunt before the plane journey! Eeek!! Not long to go now!! Hopefully next time i write in here i will be in Forks!! I cannot wait!.

****

**NPOV**

I closed the dairy and put it into the hand luggage bag that i was taking with me. I Smiled as i looked up at my door frame to see my mothers eyes shining brightly at me, instantly followed by my fathers. "Nessie Darling, Your father and I are going to do a quick hunt before we leave for Forks, Fancy joining us?" Mother smiled. "I heard that you couldn't sleep" Father chuckled. I grinned back at him. Father and Me, Finally back on to the great terms we had once been on, Especially now we where going home. "Is this for Real Dad?" I asked honestly.  
"Are we really returning to Forks?"  
He searched my eyes for a second, instantly at my side. He held out his arms to embrace me into a hug, and Mother joined. i felt warm and fuzzy. "This is for real, Renesmee. We ARE going back to Forks.. We are going home" he barely whispered. A large smile stretched across my face, and i took my father's hand in my left hand, and my mother's in the right, and we gracefully glided toward to front entrance of the house. In a few hours time. Jacob will once again be mine. 


	14. Were back!

**EEEP! EXCITED TO BE WRITING THIS!! -x-Gigi&Chloe-x-**

**NPOV**

It was a 7 hour flight to Port Angeles. **(To be frank, I don't have a clue how long it takes, I'm scared of planes and definitely scared to go from England to America by plane, id sail though :)) **

We were now an hour away - but with Dad's driving, 20 minutes away - from forks. And i could no longer contain my excitement, so I put my CD's on full blast on the car's stereo and bolted out Lenka "Dangerous and sweet".

"I know that you are just like me, over sensitive," Mom and Dad started to give me funny, weird smirks.

"Taking everything for much more than it means, oh well its dangerous and its sweet." Dangerous and sweet was one of my favourite songs that described me, but as the song changed, my favourite instantly changed. To exaggerate the moment. Knock Knock. I felt my eyes start to pool with tears listening to the lyrics.

_A second, a minute, and hour, a day goes by.  
I'm hoping' just to be by your side.  
I'm turning' the handle  
It won't open.  
Don't make me wait, cause right now I need your smile._

Knock Knock  
When life had locked me out, I turned to you  
So open the door.  
Cause' you're all I need right now it's true.  
Nothing' works like you.

"Daddy! Turn it off!" He complied as quickly as he could. Changing the disc to some of the CD's we brought in England. Now that's what I call music 72. First on was Lily Allen "The fear" and I silently thanked god for not letting it be another damned love song.

We eventually arrived in forks at .

And I was scared senseless.

_*FLASHBACK*_

_I was on my way back from dropping Abbie at her house, because her mom was late. Alice was speeding more than she normally did._

"_Alice! Your going to get me killed! What's wrong?!" I rushed to pull my seatbelt on._

"_Just hang on, ok. We need to get home as fast as we can." She replied with little emotion. I would kill for mind reading right now._

_We got home within 2 minutes of our undetailed discussion. I ran to the front door and shot it open hastily. Mom looked like the would be crying her heart out now if she could and dad seemed the same just a little bit more composed for mom._

"_What's wrong…?" I asked cautiously._

"_Ness, you remember that vision I told you about with Charlie?" Alice asked. I nodded slowly, not sure where this was going. "Well today, Sue called telling us, Ness. Charlie has leukaemia." _

_I couldn't help the relief that washed through me, knowing nothing was wrong with Jacob and that I would be seeing him. But that was quickly replaced by the fear for Charlie. The tears that had been unseen started to flow down _

"_Renesmee, Charlie should be ok. Were going to do everything we can." Carlisle reassured me. I cocked an eyebrow, thinking of how Charlie would be repulsed by the idea of becoming vampire._

_Dad shook his head signalling that Charlie would not be changed. But they would give him a good rest-of-life and a painless and peaceful end._

_*END OF FLASHBACK*_

I'd spent atleast an hour if not more on the phone to Abbie and Katie telling them I was going back to fork and was going to stay in contact with them. I gave them my newly created MSN address.

We got back up to the old white mansion to be met by Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme, who had gotten here 20 minutes before us.

"Nessie, you have half an hour to go see Jacob before we go to Charlie's if you wish." Esme said in her loving motherly voice.

"Was that a trick question?" I replied happily, earning a smile off everyone but Rosalie, who I received a snort from. And with that I ran as fast as I could to La Push to Jacobs's house. And it smelled wonderful when I passed the treaty line, met with the werewolf smell. Unlike my family, I felt the aroma calming and gave me a sense on ease and safety.

When I got to Billy's I couldn't see any actions in Jake's room so I decided to use the door. I wasn't sure how I was going to approach this, because Billy hadn't actually been very welcoming to me, seems as his son imprinted on me, a half vampire. I knocked on the door timidly waiting.

"Who is it?" I heard Billy's gruff voice calling out from somewhere, maybe the living room.

"Hey Billy, its ness!" I shouted excitedly.

"He's not here. I don't think he'd want to see _you_ right now." He replied, sneering the word 'you'.

"S'kay, thanks…." I truged down the staires, wondering maybe if Jacob was avoiding me for leaving him without so much as a word after. If I was him, I would.

I slowly continued my way back home, taking the scenic route, going and visiting first beach. The famous place for all the drama to take place. As I was walking, I saw a small but defined shape sitting on the samd near the waves. It was a boy around 15 or 16 with tanned skin and sandy coloured hair. He was abnormally large and with that I knew who it was in a instant. He hadn't changed in the year I was gone.

I walked up to him as quietly as I could. When I was about a meter away, I jumped on him back and held my hands to his eyes. He actually _eeped _in surprise, which made me giggle blindly.

"What?! Is that you ness?!" He yelled, unlocking my hands from his face, swirling around on his knees and embracing me in a hug.

"Hells yeah! How did you not smell me?" I asked with genuine curiosity.

"I think I was just too deep in thaught.." he trailed of hiding his head in my neck, so I did the same with mine. He inhailed deeply, and I felt him smile against my neck. I think it was really just… _cute!_

I pulled back to look at him, " I missed you, Seth. I missed you all." He just smiled wider than I thaught possible. I pulled him into a hug again. I was feeling a strange pull to him. Half, or maybe a bit more, as strong as the pull I felt to Jacob.

We both, or so I think both, pulled away reluctantly. "So what was you thinking about?"

"Well, with Charlie's problem and all, Sue's making him move in with us, which I suspect they have a secret 'thing' we don't know about, and so Charlie's giving the house up, and hes offered it to me…" he finished in a whisper

"Well, that's a good thing isn't it?" I was totally confused.

"No. Hes giving it to me because he sees no pont in keeping it cause hes going to die, Ness." He gave me a sad look. Then my eyes started to fill with more tears.

Seth quickly pulled me into another hug. I didn't object. I was rarther enjoying Seth's comforting. I could feel him kissing my hair and my forehead while my head lay sidewards on his chest. I was surprised when he kissed me on my temple. But I was more surprised when it helped more than anything to calm me down. I glanced quickly at my watch to see how much longer I had le. Which was 4 minutes.

"Crap" I sniffed mid-sentence, "Seth I have to get home, were going to charlies to see him, and apparently your mom's going to be there with one or more wolves." I smiled.

"Oh yeah yeah, I'm going to be there with sue, so ill see you soon," He shyly smiled and helped me up while he got up. "Ill run you to the border"

We got there in about 2 minutes and hugged again quickly, set off on my journey home.

When I got there I was 5 minutes late and I was expecting hell off dad, but instead he grapped my arm and towed me to the car where mom, Alice and Jasper were waiting. Mom looked like she was in a deep depression when we were on our way to Charlie's. I couldn't get Seth's words out of my head. "_he's going to die, Ness." _

We pulled up outside, and I took a deep breath. My family wouldn't be as troubled now with controlling their thirst around Charlie now. It would be a lot less appealing now there are troubles with his blood.

We all got out and Mom latched herself to Dad's side. She looked like she would be drowned in her own tears, if she could release them.

There was an up and down to this moment. The down, Charlie is suck. He is most likely to die. It is going to be painful to watch him deteriorate, knowing we could fix him. The up, I would see Jacob.

But I'm sure, right now I look like I could be a before model for makeup agencies. With tears streaming down my 16 year old face, my arms wound round myself, almost holding myself together, and hunched over with my bronze locks hiding my face.

I slowly looked up to see Sue walking out with 3 bags of Charlie's things, walking to the Rabbit. _Jacob's _rabbit. Alice suddenly groand. It was the old 'Oh joy! I've just lost my vision' Which of course got me excited.

Until…

**Way Hay! Cliff hanger. I am proud. **

**And im sorry about the Lenka and Lily Allen, I have them stuck in my head, although I was close to putting the killers – human in for a laugh**

**Can anyone suggest songs for a playlist? I think the next chapter will be a play list for my whole story line and ill add a new song when I feel like it ******

**Now review. I know you can see that little grey and green button. Go on!**


	15. Snogfest Much?

**Please review –x-Gigi&Chloe-x-**

**Mua ha ha, I loved the last chapter, I came up with that on the ferry and coach back to England from Germany.**

**And this is where the plot comes ******** Enjoy**

_I slowly looked up to see Sue walking out with 3 bags of Charlie's things, walking to the Rabbit__**. **_Jacob's _rabbit. Alice suddenly groaned. It was the old 'Oh joy! I've just lost my vision' which of course got me excited. _

_Until…_

*NPOV*

I heard a barely audible moan, which no human would hear from here, and it was very recognisable. It was Jacob! I was ecstatic. But hold on!

"What the fuck?!" I screeched out as soon as I saw Jacob and Leah in the fringe of the forest having a full on tonsil-tennis-make-out-snogging-fest. They instantly stopped. Leah looked pissed and ready to kill me, whereas Jacob looked disappointed. Looking at me, then Leah, then repeating the circle. I gave him the dirtiest look I could, but it didn't help with old and now fresh reasons for tears flowing down my face.

"Ness-"He called and started walking at a human jogging pace to me. He reached me in 5 seconds.

"Don't, Fucking. Touch. Me." I emphasised each word. Earning a broken look from him and a smirk from Leah.

"Please ness!" He begged, looking near to graveling at my feet.

"Wait for me my fucking arse! Here's your engagement ring-"I pulled it out my pocket and threw it on the wet grass, afterwards slapping him hard and square in the face. It felt so good I barely noticed the small amount of stinging in my hand, "-Oh and I think your pride and dignity just got blew away in the wind." I told him with a forced smug smile, tears still streaming down my face. Jacobs's mouth hanging wide, his eyebrows mashed together in confusion, and small tears forming in the corner oh his eyes.

He reached out to grab my arm but I stepped away just in time, "Did you hear what I just said? Or do you want to loose the ability to conceive children?" I could hear Emmett Laughing, which made me genuinely smile. I could also hear and smell my new favourite wolf. Seth.

He came up to me and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. I leaned in the slightest bit to his tiny embrace, of which Jacob noticed.

"Seth. What are you doing?" he asked his voice thick with anger. Shortly after he started trembling. Seth started pushing me behind me slowly.

"I'm helping ness, because obviously your to enveloped in my sister to even acknowledge her presence, let alone know she was coming today," he said shooting me an apologetic look, which I returned with a smile, grabbing his large hand and encasing it with my two small ones.

Jacob turned to me and glared at me, which was 10 times worse than my glares. I felt terrified! I coward behind Seth, But Jacob continued glaring. "So, ness you've been here, How long?" He asked His voice attempting to sound polite.

"T….t-t...two... hours..." I stumbled over my own words. I glanced behind me to look at my mom, but none of them were there, but when I listened closer, they were all inside talking to Charlie, Sue and Leah who had joined them during our confrontation.

"Oh really? You know, I could say the same about you, the whole "Wait for me" thing, 2 hours, and you've already got a boyfriend. Tut tut ness, breaking your own promise." He put on a faked appalled face, while I just beamed and stood next to Seth, instead of hiding. Jacobs face turned confused, while Seth tried to hold his laughter back. He was on the same lines as me.

Then I broke down laughing, and crying from laughing so hard, "Oh dear god Jacob," I sobered up a little and started shaking my head, "I think your brain left with your dignity, I'm not with Seth! Freaking hell, first thing I do as we get to forks is go to your house to be greeted by an unwelcoming Billy, then I go to first beach looking for you, to find Seth. Oh god I'm not allowed friends now." I turned to Seth while catching Jacob glaring between us.

I put on my posh, perfected English accent, *Cough" Seth, I'm sorry chuck, but my dearest ex wishes me to be confined to my self, whilst he goes off to fairly land with his new found beauty."

Seth followed on, nearly making me wet myself laughing, "Well dearest Renesmee, I think you need to get to seeing Charlie. There's nothing wrong with being fashionably late, but overly punctual is just rude. I shall escort you to the living room, and then depart you to a seat, maybe just lucky next to you, but of course, no contact." He bent his elbow towards me so I could fit my arm into his arm and we happily walked away from Jacob with happy, mischievous smiles on our faces.


	16. Broken Noses

**Well, just randomly looking to the Jake/Ness fanfics today, where's mine? NUMBER 3!**

**THANKYOU! I love the reviews, their awesome!!**

*NPOV*

As we neared closer to the house, I sneaked a peek inside, and it was bare! Hardy any of the shelves held the neither pictures nor books they used to. Watching his empty house, made me feel slightly empty... Which also made me clutch tighter to Seth's arm as we walked towards the house. As we were near the door, Jacob stormed past us into the living room out of sight, where I could hear him and Leah talking, then they stopped and I could hear the sucking sounds. Ugh, couldn't they get over each other yet?

"Hey ness, I'm just going to go see Edward, maybe you should see Charlie?" Seth questioned.

"Erm, yeah sure, see you later" I smiled and hugged him as he went off.

I walked into the kitchen where Charlie was leaning against the counter staring into nothingness. I coughed quietly to catch his attention. Which the slowly-well for me anyway-towards me.

"Hey, darling''" He said coming to me and hugging me.

"Hey grandpa" I said squeezing him.

"My god ness, you've grown! It was like yesterday you was 14, now look, you're a model beautiful 16 year old." He looked at me from arms length.

"Thanks," I said blushing wildly.

"Charlie, come on, we've got all of your things, we need to hurry up so Seth can bring his stuff here," Sue called from the front door.

He shrugged his shoulder and gave me a kiss on me cheek as he walked past me, to sue and got into the rabbit, and drove away with her.

I felt someone walk up behind me, wrap their arms around my shoulders and rest their head on my shoulder. I turned my head to the side, expecting to see Seth, but instead finding a Jacob who seemed to be loft in his own world to notice I moved. I put my mouth right to his ear, and he trembled a bit.

"_Jacob, you don't know how long I've waited for this" _I whispered seductively. He moaned a little bit. I put my hand to his cheek, stoking it slowly whilst showing him our first kiss. I turned around and he started leaning in. I kept one hand free and held it by my side in a tight fist. I followed by leaning in too.

As soon as we were only 2 inches apart, I opened his eyes to the sight of his lips slightly open. I smirked and brought my hand back and hit him with as much force as I could in his nose. I heard a satisfying crunch, and everyone came running in to see the scene. Jacob standing there, blood running out of his mangled nose with a gob smacked look on his face while I stood there blazing red, my hands in fists at my side and snarling.

Mom and Dad kept calling me built all I could hear was the haunting snarling noise coming from me that I'd never heard before. Leah went sprinting over to Jacob and held her hand under his nose while he repositioned it for healing. Then she turned to me. I instantly stopped the snarling as Seth came and stood beside me.

"What. Did. You. Do?" She asked, angrily.

"What does it look like, I hit him." I said snorting... Seth quietly laughed.

"What are you laughing at Seth?!" She screamed, darting up to him and grabbing the collar of his white polo shirt, getting into his face.

"Well, Leah, I wasn't even in the room and it was obvious she hit him." He said between laughs. She started snarling then Carlisle stepped in

"Ok kids, that's enough now," he stated calmly. Leah let go of Seth and went to Jacob. She kissed his cheek and dragged him out of the house. Jacob looked at me on his way out. I smiled and gave him the finger. He opened his mouth in shock as he left. I turned around, satisfied, as my mom glared at me while my dad was hiding a smile.

"Renesmee, there was no need for that." Mom said in monotone, while I stared at the floor. Well, actually, Seth's shoes. The attraction for him was getting stronger by the second. I heard my dad's head whip up. _CRAP! _

I couldn't believe I was so careless with my thoughts. "Nor can I," Dad said curiously, "Come talk ness," he said grabbing my hand and pulling me out.

"You're attracted to Seth?" He asked with an approving smile.

"Erm, dad, I don't honestly know. I mean yeah, but…" I didn't know how to continue so I just shrugged.

"You're allowed to, Ness." He smiled and hugged me, well attempted to because I pushed him away.

"Oh yeah, I'm allowed to. Dad, why wasn't I allowed to like Jacob." I was purely pissed right now. "You know what, just take me home. I can't stand it anymore," I said walking towards the house from my now frowning dad.

I walked to the front of the house where my family were waiting by the jeep and Volvo. "Where's Seth?" I asked looking around.

"He's inside, looking around." My mom said giving me a disappointed look.

"Mom get over it, Jacob has Leah, and I actually don't really care." I could feel a little bit of lie, of course I care, but I was feeling a stronger pull for Seth right now. I didn't really care what she replied, I just walked into the house where Seth was standing in the living room looking out of the small window, with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Don't worry ness, its all going to work out for the best." He said. Not even looking around to make sure it was me. I smiled and put my hands on his shoulders. I rested my chin on the crook of his neck and the side of my face on his. It felt so _natural._

I sighed deeply, savouring the moment, "I know," I said kissing his cheek, blushing slightly from the tingle of joy I felt. "I've got to go now. Ill see you here tomorrow, about 12?"

"Yeah sure," He said, turning around and hugging me. I squeezed him tightly before turning to walk away. That's when he grabbed my hand, pulled me towards him and crushed his lips to mine.

And I couldn't be happier…

**Uh oh… to be continued.**

**What a prick am I? :) **

**Review :)**


	17. Ness, WHAT!

**Please Review!! X-xGiGi&Chloex-X**

**JACOBS POV**

I woke up feeling dead and frustrated. It had been an extremely long time now since I had seen Renesmee Cullen, and Even though I had imprinted on her, that bond seemed pretty thin. I can't believe she had expected me to 'wait for her' when she had not even showed her face up for Christmas' or birthdays, and now I hear news about Charlie. Poor Old Charlie. He's got Leukaemia, and still his family, His perfect little bloodsucking family haven't even bothered to show their faces, I mean I only found out yesterday but you would have thought that they would have made it here as fast as possible. They make me sick. I bet Nessie really loves her new life, without the hassle of werewolves and complications; she's probably even got a new English boyfriend and hasn't even given me a second thought.

URGH. Bitch.

Despite the feud in my head about Nessie, I shoved that aside and went downstairs, Billy sat there quietly. One look at his face and I forgot about my grief for a moment, and remembered that his life long friend - our friend, was dying, and there was nothing we could do about it. Life was so unfortunate, yet there was nothing we could do this time, and I knew for a fact that Charlie would rather die than become a blood sucker.

Even with his everlasting daughter and granddaughter, and the love he had found within Sue, he would never want to be involved in this life.

He'd always wanted to know as little as possible, and well, I got to hand it to him, I could never have done that. I looked at my father and saw the broken smile that had been placed on his face.

"Hang in there, dad. Charlie's a strong man" I hugged him and slipped out of the door, as much as I wanted to comfort him, there was no way I could today. My mind was full of rubbish and I couldn't concentrate on what was right, which meant I couldn't be here for anyone, for Billy, or even Charlie. I had to get out and leave for a while, take a trip to the woods and chill.

***1 hour later* **

I was sat at the bottom of an oak tree, regaining my calm when I smelt a familiar smell. Leah. I stood up automatically, getting ready to give her a piece of my mind. Why was she here? I didn't want her ruining and crowding my space. Did she not realise how annoyed and alone I felt?!

"Jake, I had a feeling I'd find you here. Your pretty down at the minute, and I need a good moan as well so I thought I'd join you" She smirked.

Like I needed her here right now. It was bad enough seeing her loved up everyday. "Can't you go off and moan to Sean?!" I snapped as Leah scowled at me.

"You know I didn't imprint on him Jake, it wasn't fair to lead him on. I've split up with him. If I was supposed to imprint on Sean then I would have done already, so I wasn't going to leave it and make it any harder than it already was."

Blahhh Blahhh bloody Blahhh! That's all it ever was with Leah. Listen in with Leah, make Leah happy, if Leah ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!! I stared at her deep in the eyes, mine blazing into hers. "WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP ABOUT YOURSELF FOR ONE SECOND?" I scorched.

Her face broke in two and her eyes narrowed as she ran towards me and took a jump, pushing me over full force and landing right on top of me. Not only did she take the wind out of me, I was actually surprised at how strong Leah was. She punched me in the chest and in the face.

"I was here to do you a favour Jacob! To take your mind off things, maybe if you had listened to my problems, then you would have forgotten your own!! Face it man, she is never coming back, she has moved on, and so should you, or at least try..." Her words softened at the end and she said 'at least try' and she got off of me, and held out her hand to help me up.

I sympathetically gave her a smile back. She really had tried to take my mind off Renesmee, and actually, for the couple of minutes that our argument lasted, she truly had.

I with stretched my hand towards hers as she pulled me upwards, landing me straight into her arms. I realised that perhaps Leah might have been right about Nessie not coming back, and that Leah could help me through this. I pulled her in close and tightened my grip around her waist, letting her know in this hug that I was sorry, and that of course, she was right.

**RIGHT I WAS GOING TO JUST UPLOAD THIS BUT I ADDED THE OTHER CHAPTER TOO (THANKS CHLOE :))**

*JPOV*

Hugging Leah was warm and comforting. Something I hadn't felt in a long time. I looked down at her, to notice she was looking back at me, a way that, She had never looked at me before. Soothingly, I Felt her heart beat rapidly as she stretched upward and locked her lips onto mine. I pushed her away slightly and looked at her wide eyed. "Leah this... what?"

She looked away, shy of the advances she had made. Until I lifted up her head and made her look at me.

"Thank You..." I murmured, kissing her neck, all the way up to her collar bone, and then crushing her lips to mine. She moaned quietly whilst kissing me back, and a flood of relief washed through me. I'd been waiting to be kissed like this for a long time. A long, lonely time, and although Leah wasn't the person I had wanted to kiss, it was still comforting. Not only that, but it felt nice, it felt, new.

I moaned with pleasure, thinking about all the kissing I had missed since Nessie had gone away, and how much Leah and me where holding onto this kiss...

"What the Fuck?!" Someone screeched out loud in a piercing loud voice that could make ears bleed. I knew straight away who it was. I gasped and instantly pulled away from Leah, feeling sick to my stomach, yeah, great timing Jacob, and great.

I looked at my love standing so close yet so far away from me, then to Leah, this disposable person that I didn't even feel an inch of Love for, yet tried to anyway, trying to get rid of the feelings for the love that had now returned. I squirmed in my own skin, and then looked back up, straight into the eyes of my love. I could hear her gently snort before throwing me the dirtiest of looks I have ever seen in my life, right into my direction.

I started making my way down to her fast. "Ness!" I called out to her, getting closer by the second, reaching her in all but 5 seconds.

I went to grab her by the wrist, before she turned away from me, ripping her wrist right from my grip.

"Don'.TOUCH. Me!!" She blazed. Looking at Leah and then back to me. Leah was smirking smugly at Nessie, but my face couldn't even gain any type of composure.

It crumbled and it felt like someone had just forced their hands into my gut and turned my insides round. My feet almost caved in, and I tried to regain myself, begging myself not to make a fool out of myself and cry, an already made enough of a fool out of myself as it was.

"Please Ness. Please." I begged, hoping she would give me the time of day to explain, even though I probably didn't deserve it.

"Wait for me my fucking arse!!" she raged, "Here is your engagement ring!" Pulling the ring I gave her the day before she left out of her pocket, she threw it to the grass before me, not even giving it a second glance, then in less than at second she was right by my side, and threw her hand at me, square in the face. It didn't hurt, but it didn't do my pride much good, let alone the fact that I just wanted to hug her and forget anything that had happened between me and Leah, How did I not know that Nessie was back?! Wasn't it a bit of a coincidence that Leah came to see me the day Nessie came back? Garr. I looked the hand Nessie had slapped me with, it had flushed pink. It must have hurt for her to hit me like that.

"Oh and I think your pride and dignity just got blown away with the wind..." She told me bluntly, whilst tears rolled down her face. Oh My God!! I made her cry!! I made my baby cry! I cannot believe what I have done. I'm SUCH an IDIOT! Urgh.

I reached out for her arm, hoping to look into her beautiful brown eyes once more, but I wasn't fast enough and she moved out the way in the space of a second. "Did you not hear what I just said Jacob?! Or do you want to lose the ability of EVER having children?!" she screamed, each word cutting me like a knife, I winced, hearing Emmett laugh playfully, finding this all amusing on my behalf, the bloodsuckers never did accept me much, especially when it concerned Nessie.

Seth came up close behind Nessie and placed his hand softly upon Renesmee's shoulder blade, and she reacted to this by slightly leaning into Seth as if for support. I felt sick; they looked so... so...Cosy.

Just how long had this little friendship been going on?! Angry and jealousy slowly sheered through my veins, and I shot a look a Seth, a look that he knew well.

"Seth... What are you doing?" I asked, trying to keep the anger out of my tone, I failed, it was coming out in a thick lump, served with sour cream

Seth looked back at me, trying to stare out my glare, trying to look as if he wasn't scared of me, but tiny cracks started to leak through his act.

"I'm helping Ness" He said, voice getting slightly more confident "Because your obviously two enveloped in my sister to even acknowledge Renesmee's presence, or even the fact that she was coming today." Seth said, looking at Nessie apologetically, which caused her to give him a smile back, as she encased her small hands around his large left hand.

My anger paced up, speeding faster through my veins that it was five minutes ago, and my breathing started to get heavy. What the fuck where they playing at?! I know I did wrong, but I didn't mean to, it was a simple spot of weakness, unlike this, this ridiculous act that is being displayed in front of me!

WHAT THE HELL?!!?!

I turned to Nessie, my eyes on fire, I gave her a fierce look, I'm not sure how fierce it was, but it must have been bad because she cowered behind Seth, which made my blood boil even more, did she really think I had the power to hurt her?! I would never harm her beautiful pale body... I continued my 'fierce' glare at my love, and then tried to smile; wondering if this gave my facial expressions a crazy glint.

"So, Ness, You've been here, How long?" I smiled the fake-ness of my effort to be polite shining through.

She looked confused, maybe wondering why if was asking this question, or why it mattered now, I'd ruined everything.

"T...t...two-hours..." she stammered out. She genuinely was scared of me. And if felt sick to my stomach, but if couldn't help but feel the need to still be angry. TWO HOURS! And if hadn't even seen her! Until it was too late, before the damage had been done!!

Renesmee looked behind her, as if to get some support from the bloodsuckers, but they had already gone inside to see Charlie. Her face crumbled as she noticed it was just Me, Her and Seth now. I smiled a half smile, before continuing my rant.

"Oh Really? Two hours hmm? You know, I Could say the same about you, the whole,' Wait for me' thing, 2 hours and you've already got yourself a boyfriend" I gave out a short fake laugh. "Tut-Tut Ness, Breaking your own promise" I faked an appalled face, whilst Nessie, stood next to Seth now, instead of cowering behind him. There was silence for a second, and Nessie's lips curved upwards as she pressed them together, this confused me, and then Seth too, tried to stop himself from laughter, this annoyed me, was this matter really a laughing matter?!?!

Then Renesmee broke down into fits of laughter, tears of sadness turned into tears of amusement as she looked at me unbelievably. "Oh Dear God Jacob," She creased, shaking her head "I think your brain left when your dignity did... I'm not seeing Seth! Freaking hell, the first thing I did when I got back to Forks was go to your house to be greeted by an unwelcoming Billy, then I got to La Push beach looking for you, only to find Seth, Oh I'm obliviously not allowed friends now either!" She turned to Seth, who was still trying to hold in his laughter, obviously finding this whole thing hilarious! I glared at them both, still angry, but worse because I'd jumped to conclusions, and made myself look like even more of an idiot, there was no way to cure this mess.

That's when Nessie cleared her throat, and put on an English accent, so perfected that on lookers would have believe she was actually English herself.

"Seth, I'm sorry chuck, but my dearest ex here wishes me to be confined to myself, whilst he goes off gallivanting to fairy land with his new found beauty!" she chuckled pushing Seth playfully on the arm.

Seth smiled with her and carried on the conversation, in his best English accent too, which was terrible, but sounded the way he had intended it to never the less, "Well, Dearest Renesmee, I think you need to get to seeing your Grandfather Charlie, There's nothing wrong with being fashionably late, but overly punctual is just rude, I shall escort you to the living room, then depart you to your seat, maybe just lucky enough to have one next to you, but of course, no contact" He scoffed, bending his elbow towards Renesmee so she could fit her arm into his and they happily skipped away from me, laughing as they did so, with stupid grins on their faces, while I stood there dumbfounded. All this time I had waited for the love of my life to return to me, and now, she wasn't even my love anymore. Everything that could have gone wrong did, and now I am left with nothing, not even dignity.


	18. F You

**Please review! –x-Gigi&Chloe-x-**

**Abbie, I love you :) **

**Ha yes I am a prick :)**

**A song to base this on: Lily Allen – Fuck you**

"_Yeah sure," He said, turning around and hugging me. I squeezed him tightly before turning to walk away. That's when he grabbed my hand, pulled me towards him and crushed his lips to mine._

_And I couldn't be happier…_

_*NPOV*_

He pushed us, so my back was to the wall while his hands were on my waist and his lips were devouring mine. I wound my arms around his neck, securing my hands in his hair.

His kiss was so rough and I was enjoying them so I was roughly returning them. He started sucking on my top lip, nibbling on it slightly, so I pulled on his bottom lip with my teeth.

I started running out of breath, and reluctantly pulled away. Seth smiled and rested his forehead against mine. He slowly joined my world by opening his eyes, staring into mine. He started smiling wider from my obvious daze which he caused.

I bit my lip nervously, looking to the side to look through the window, making sure no one was watching, which they wasn't. I put my head onto Seth's shoulder while he rested his head on mine.

"Seth…." I mumbled, but it sounded like a moan. I was obviously still recovering. "I have to go now," I said taking a deep breath and sighing it out.

"Ok, but you're still coming tomorrow, right?" He asked looking me in the eyes while I removed my hands from his hair and tidying my shirt at the bottom where he had messed it from holding my waist.

"Yep. As long as my dad doesn't kill me or you in the mean time," I said smiling.

He chuckled and bent his head in and quickly but passionately kissed me on my lips. I moaned a little when he moved back and I kept my eyes closed.

"Ok, your good to go now" he said, sounding relieved.

I opened my eyes and bit my lip. I looked him in the eyes and muttered, "Like I wasn't 2 minutes ago." He hugged me and let me out of the house. I stumbled to the jeep.

"Ness, aren't you coming with us?" My dad questioned, confused.

I told him through my thoughts, _I need some space to think, I don't think you'd appreciate it, dad. _He nodded and got into the Volvo and drove away.

I jumped into the Jeep where Emmett, Rosalie and Carlisle were waiting. I blushed a little and looked to the house to see Seth. He looked at me and winked. I giggled and waved as we pulled away.

_Wait, what? _I thought to .1

_Yeah stupid. "Oohie I love Jake, Ooh I miss him, Fra la la!" Retard, you're in love with Seth! _I no.2 replied.

_Yeah, so, he has Leah, why cant I?_ Self no.1 countered.

_Cause I think the one who imprinted on you is better suited. And anyway since when did you like Seth? _Self no.2 asked

_Hm let's think, oh yeah, YOU WERE THERE!_ I was starting to get fed up with my one sided argument. So I left them at it.

I looked out of the window and swore I could see the Jacob wolf running parallel to the jeep. I looked over to the others to see if they noticed. They all seemed to be in an in-depth conversation. I decided to interrupt.

"HEY!" I shooed. They all looked at me. "Emmett! Look at the road!" He turned around instantly.

"Can you let me out please, I need to hunt real quickly, tell mom and dad ill see them soon." I got a few weird looks of Rose and Carlisle as Emmett pulled to the side of the high way. I jumped out and walked into the forest, just out of sight. I heard the Jeep pull back on and drive away as I heard heavy paws thudding on the earth.

"Stalker," I muttered as he came close enough to hear and not see. I really did need to hunt quickly; the English animals weren't as nice as the forks ones.

I was near a heard of elk when I heard an unnatural rustling, which was not the elk, nor another animal. It was Jacob.

"Please, Ness." He sounded like he was begging. But it was loud enough for the elks to hear and dart away. I grinded my teeth, turned around to him and growled.

"What?!" He asked raising his hands in innocence.

"Ugh, not only are you now chasing me wherever, your now also shooing my food away." I rolled my eyes and started walking toward where the elks had flied from.

I could hear his footsteps stop about a meter away from me. And then him shifting to one foot and another.

"Jacob! Why are you chasing me?" I asked all too quickly out of interest. I kept looking the other way, but out of he corner of my eye I saw him walking right behind me and put his face near mine.

"Because I love you silly," he said lightly chuckling. I giggled.

"Awe! Doesn't that make me want to…_ puke? _Jacob. You have Leah, OK? Got that. I don't need you." I spoke as clearly as possible. "I can no longer trust you. You broke your promise."

He looked at me heartbroken. He was giving me the literal 'Puppy dog' face. Any other time, it would have pulled at my heart strings. Right now, it was just pissing me off.

"Jacob?" I said innocently. He obviously bought it because he looked up at me hopeful. I smiled as wide as possible.

"Fuck Off" I smiled wider than possible and ran as fast as I could, leaving an idiotic Jacob standing in the middle of the forest.

**Nessie's got BALLS OF STEEL!**

**Aha. Greeeaaaattt!**

**Review pleaseee**


	19. IM SORRY AN

**IM SORRY!**

**Imma not be completing these stories, They got boring to write after awhile and I have no intention of finishing them right now, maybe on a later date?**

**Ill save them for rainy day projects**

**Thankyou for the support**

**Love you**

**Georgia "/**

**Please don't hate me!**


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